Laughter Is The Best Medicine…

Well, looks like Mom found something to cheer me up so I wouldn’t be thinking so much about the fact that it was -36C out last night at work, and even when I left work, it was still -34C (note: This is with wind-chill), and it’s not due to be that much better tonight. Looking forward to tomorrow, which at the moment is due to have a high of 2C.

I was trying to read this out loud to Mitzy and Aspen, and got to #13 before I couldn’t continue for laughing so hard…

Wrapping Presents With A Cat

1. Clear large space on table for wrapping present.

2. Go to wardrobe and collect bag in which present is contained, and close door.

3. Open door and remove cat from wardrobe.

4. Go to cupboard and retrieve rolls of wrapping paper.

5. Go back and remove cat from cupboard.

6. Go to drawer and collect transparent sticky tape, ribbons, scissors, labels, etc.

7. Lay out present and wrapping materials on table, to enable wrapping strategy to be formed.

8. Go back to drawer to get string, remove cat that has been in the drawer since last visit, and collect string.

9. Remove present from bag.

10. Remove cat from bag.

11. Open box to check present, remove cat from box, replace present.

12. Lay out paper to enable cutting to size.

13. Cut the paper to size, trying to keep the cutting line straight.

14. Throw away first sheet because cat tried to chase the scissors and tore paper.

15. Cut second sheet of paper to size by putting cat in the bag the present came out of.

16. Place present on cut-to-size paper.

17. Lift up edges of paper to seal in present, wonder why edges now don’t reach, and find cat between present and paper. Remove cat and retry.

18. Place object on paper, to hold in place, while cutting transparent sticky tape.

19. Spend next 20 minutes carefully trying to remove transparent sticky tape from cat with pair of nail scissors.

20. Seal paper down with transparent sticky tape, making corners as neat as possible.

21. Look for roll of ribbon; chase cat down hall and retrieve ribbon.

22. Try to wrap present with ribbon in a two-directional turn.

23. Re-roll up ribbon and remove paper that is now torn, due to cat’s enthusiasm in chasing ribbon end.

24. Repeat steps 12-22 until down to last sheet of paper.

25. Decide to skip steps 12-16 in order to save time and reduce risk of losing last sheet of paper. Retrieve old cardboard box that you know is right size for sheet of paper.

26. Put present in box, and tie down with string.

27. Remove string, open box and remove cat.

28. Put all packing materials in bag with present and head for lockable room.

29. Once inside room, lock door and start to re-lay out packing materials.

30. Remove cat from box, unlock door, put cat outside door, close door and re-lock.

31. Lay out last sheet of paper. (Admittedly this is difficult in the small area of the toilet, but try your best!)

32. Seal box, wrap with paper and start repairs by very carefully sealing down tears with transparent sticky tape. Now tie up with ribbon and decorate with bows to hide worst affected areas.

33. Label, then sit back and admire your handiwork, congratulating yourself on making good of a bad job.

34. Unlock door, and go to kitchen to make drink and feed cat.

35. Spend next 15 minutes looking for cat, before coming to obvious conclusion.

36. Unwrap present, untie box and remove cat.

37. Retrieve all discarded sheets of wrapping paper, feed cat and retire to lockable room for last attempt, making certain you are alone and the door is locked.

38. At time of handing over present, smile sweetly at receiver’s face, as they try and hide their contempt at being handed such a badly wrapped present.

39. Swear to yourself that next year, you will get the store to wrap the darn thing for you.

4 thoughts on “Laughter Is The Best Medicine…

  1. Oh, you have my sympathies… *g*

    Luckily, most of my wrapping consisted of surrounding the presents in tissue paper and sticking them in the gift bags, but there were a few (and still is one more to be done) that had to be wrapped… and Mitzy does not appreciate having anything other than herself on my lap. Though as long as she can actually curl up under my sweater or polar fleece shawl she reluctantly accepts the laptop… but wrapping paper – uh uh! Had to constantly shove her off my lap yesterday morning while I was doing the wrapping. (Most of them were distributed at the extended/adopted family Christmas Brunch yesterday morning, since it’s only my aunt and I who are actually here in town for Christmas itself.)

    Anyway, hope things (including any decorating you have left to do) are going well for you today. Enjoying the time off, may I assume? *g*

  2. And yours don’t attack the tissue paper? Mine love the stuff. Granted- they love any paper, but tissue is a fave. That’s one way that I can usually distract them after they manage to get the door open. Mine are too smart for their own good. Even the dog knows to go get Hal to open the door for him.

    Oh, I am enjoying the time off. I actually got to sleep in for a change! Decorating is finished! *throws confetti in the air* Are you enjoying having an empty school?

  3. They might be attracted by tissue paper – I’m not sure, I just remember constantly shoving Mitzy off my lap. *g*

    Sleeping in is good! And yes, having an empty school is definitely pleasant. And by tomorrow night, even the boarding school dons (basically the adults assigned to supervising and taking care of the boarders, all of whom are provided with apartments up in the boarding school) will be gone as well, so it will be a truly empty school!


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