Saiyuki Fic: Questions Why (838) Pt. 2

And now, the second half of QW….

This is shounen-ai/pre-slash Sanzo/Hakkai, rated PG/Teen for Sanzo’s language. If you don’t care for slash, feel free to not read.

Summary: “Why did I do that?” Hakkai saw past the mask.

Part 1

This is all Vathara’s fault. I swear it is. She’s the one who got me hooked on Saiyuki. Well… okay, some of it is Sanzo and Hakkai’s fault. Especially Hakkai’s. He can be vicious when he wants something written.

Saiyuki and Saiyuki Reload are © Katsuya Minekura. This story is fanfiction, and is not intended as infringement on that copyright.

Questions Why
by tag

Part Two: Hakkai

Hakkai tilted his head back against the top of the pillow and stared up at the ceiling. The plaster was surprisingly clean for an inn, and he let his eyes follow the patterns made by the tool that had been used to apply it. There was only one question in his mind: Why?

Pulling his knees up to his chest, he sighed quietly. “Of all the stupid things to do, Cho Hakkai…” he muttered to himself.

Good thing Goku and Gojyo were both out enjoying the local festival. He didn’t want to have to answer any questions about what he meant. And they’d both ask, if they heard him saying that.

We’re not even halfway back to Chang’an. Why did I do that?

It was a good question. An excellent question. And one he really, really wished he knew the answer to.

It certainly wasn’t going to make the rest of the trip back any easier.

Especially not if Goku and Gojyo got wind of what he’d done.

Not that he would tell them, and he strongly suspected that Sanzo wouldn’t breathe a word of it… but they’d been together, pretty much every single day, for almost three years now. Which meant that any change between any of them was noticed. And Sanzo… well, Hakkai would be very surprised if Sanzo didn’t change his attitude towards him after this. Probably for the worst.

Hells – I think the only reason I didn’t get shot was he was too shocked to react before I ducked out.

Sanzo had definitely been shocked. Hakkai didn’t think he’d ever seen the priest so surprised before – too surprised to react with his normal reflexes. Too surprised to react at all, aside from staring at Hakkai with a wide-eyed expression of utter astonishment on his face, before Hakkai had got out the door, closed it again behind him, and informed Goku and Gojyo that they were free to head off.

Which still didn’t answer the question circling uppermost in Hakkai’s mind.

He hadn’t gone into Sanzo’s room with the intention of doing anything other than informing the priest about the festival and asking if he wanted to come with them. And what he’d seen when he entered – Sanzo leaning against the windowsill, looking out and smoking, with the moon rising just outside the window, shining in on him – wasn’t anything he hadn’t seen too many times before to count.

So why was this time so different?

Today wasn’t anything special. No problematic anniversaries for any of them, no special anniversaries for any of them…. The town wasn’t anything special either. They hadn’t stopped here on the way out – they were deliberately taking a different route back, considering all the damage that had been done during the trip to deal with Gyumaoh and Gyokumen Koushu – so there was nothing there that would have prompted his impulsive action.

Not that it wasn’t something he’d wanted to do. He’d spent two and a half years wanting to do that – since shortly after the confrontation with Chin Yisou. And the three years before that with the occasional wistful thought of it, for that matter, though he’d gone to a great deal of trouble to never let on.

Beneath his sharp, surly attitude, Sanzo was… fascinating. Beautiful, even, though the priest would no doubt have laughed – or shot him – if Hakkai had ever even hinted at that. Sharp, cutting, ruthless – all of which, truthfully, only added to his attraction – and with a compassion that flowed as strong and deep as the river he’d originally been named for….

The fact that he was also beautiful on the outside didn’t hurt – but it wasn’t the important part, the part that had attracted Hakkai in the first place. That beauty was on display for all the world to see, after all. No, it was what was inside, the endless compassion that Sanzo worked so hard to hide, that had done that.

None of which told Hakkai why he’d done what he had now, rather than waiting until this journey was over (or not doing it at all, for that matter – it wouldn’t have been easy to keep his attraction a secret, but he had been doing it for over five years…). Instead he’d gone and done it now, when they still had almost a year’s worth of travel to go – assuming there were no unplanned detours. When it guaranteed that things would be awkward, and there would be questions asked by the other two.

Just… he’d walked into Sanzo’s room, and the priest had been there, and the moment Sanzo had stubbed out his cigarette in the ashtray – nothing he hadn’t seen daily – years of self-control had just flown out the window, and Hakkai had pushed forward and done it.

But… why did I choose now to kiss him?

For reviews, feel more than free to comment here, or email me at Any type of reviews save flames are welcome (flames will be put out by the sand-kicking Plot Bunnies); constructive criticism is more than encouraged.

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15 thoughts on “Saiyuki Fic: Questions Why (838) Pt. 2

  1. I like how you put in the description “Hakkai saw past the mask” I really think Hakkai is probably the only one who’s capable of understanding what’s going through Sanzo’s mind sometimes. That’s why they make such a great couple! X3

    I also tend to agree about the Chin Yiso incident. I think that was a huge turning point not just for Hakkai, but in his relationship with Sanzo as well since Sanzo did so much to help him out of it. (Actually, I’m about to get to that part in my own fanfic pretty soon here.)

    Anyway, great job. I really enjoyed reading both parts of this.

  2. Yes, it just seems that Hakkai can understand Sanzo better than the other two. And vice versa – sometimes. *g*

    And yeah, definitely the Chin Yisou incident is major. Deals with at least some of Hakkai’s guilt, and really shows the trust Sanzo has in him.

    And thank you so much – I’m glad you enjoyed!

    😉 tag0

  3. Actually, it was after watching the Chin Yiso incident that I first thought: OMG! I so have to slash those two now! And, that’s really the main point of my story I guess, even though it is taking me forever to get to it.

    I’ve actually been into Saiyuki for like, three or four years now. So it’s probably about time I wrote something, right?

  4. Wonderful. May I dare to ask for more? It seems just the beginning of a longer tale for the two of them.

    (I almost wish I had had a reason to flame this, just because I’ve never seen a sand-kicking plot bunny in action and really, really want to…)

  5. *G* They’re going to insist on more, actually. It’s just that these are the only two “why” questions, so they get their own story. I’m currently working on a personal NaNo project (a friend and I are doing the novel in 30 days this month up to March 2nd), so the sequel is going to have to wait until then to get written… but Sanzo wants answers, and Hakkai wants to see if they can make a relationship work. *smirk* And I suspect Kougaiji feels he owes Sanzo a favour for something that our (somewhat) lovable priest did in the process of dealing with Gyokumen Koushu in this set of stories….

    (*tag runs in and pushes behind cover; a moment later, great masses of sand are being kicked in their direction. “You had to ask?”* :D)

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  6. Oh, noes!! What if you lose interest before you finish the nano project??? (NaNo is the enemy of fanfiction, don’t you know?) I can wait, but the idea that you may forget all about it and never come back and tell us what happens next frightens me. *bites nails*

    (Ah… They are impressive little fuckers! I want one… Thanks for the tacklesave!! *sets about planning a sand-kicking plotbunny capture*)

  7. Actually… Sanzo and Hakkai seem to take NaNo as a challenge. I started a Saiyuki fic in the third week of October, then did NaNo in November. Fine, all well and good….

    Currently I have that fic in progress (with more written), an AU of that fic in progress, two sequels to a canon-based fic by Vathara (which should hopefully be posted around the beginning of March on FFNet), “Questions Why”, a Sanzo/Hakkai follow-up to Reload Vol. 9, and I need to start the sequel to “Questions”. All of this except the first written after November’s NaNo. Nope, don’t think they’re going to have a problem letting their stories be written afterwards…. (Hell, had to start the Reload 9 follow-up in order to get anything written of the original novel.)

    (*wishes you the best of luck on the capture – a cry of “I need protection from flamers” may be the best bait. either that, or “I get flamers – want to maul them?”*)

    😉 tag0

  8. Oh, very nice! I just finished reading the first part, and this is a beautiful follow through. I loved that you wrote about how Hakkai can see past Sanzo’s exterior to the soft, gooey centre – I really believe that’s one of the special things about their relationship. Sure, a lot of canon has Sanzo and Goku and the friendship between Gojyo and Hakkai, but I truly believe that they understand each other in a way no one else really does. I mean, in the whole Hazel arc, when Sanzo sends the three of them away, Hakkai (while mad!) is really the only one who understands why Sanzo did what he did… ♥

    The comparison of Sanzo to the Yangtze River was lovely – powerful, deep…Mm, it gives me shivers! ^_^

    I really hope you’ll write more of this pairing – there’s sadly not a lot of Sanzo/Hakkai love out there, and it’s nice to have more to read! Thank you so much!

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