Saiyuki Fic: Questions Why (838)

Well, it’s finally happened. I’ve written a Saiyuki story (that’s finished – I’ve got a few on the go).

This is shounen-ai/pre-slash Sanzo/Hakkai, rated PG/Teen for Sanzo’s language. If you don’t care for slash, feel free to not read.

Summary: “Why did he do that?” Sanzo had worked hard to make sure that no one liked him….

This is all Vathara’s fault. I swear it is. She’s the one who got me hooked on Saiyuki. Well… okay, some of it is Sanzo and Hakkai’s fault. Especially Hakkai’s. He can be vicious when he wants something written.


Saiyuki and Saiyuki Reload are © Katsuya Minekura. This story is fanfiction, and is not intended as infringement on that copyright.

Questions Why
by tag

Part One: Sanzo

Sanzo lay on the bed, staring up at the ceiling and the cigarette smoke forming random patterns against the plaster, and the only coherent thought in his mind was, Why?

If it had been a stranger, he would have understood. He had no illusions about his own appearance; any illusions he might have had, as Kouryuu, had been very quickly dispelled once he’d begun his hunt for the Seiten Sutra. So… he would have understood. It had happened before, after all. He wouldn’t have been happy, and would probably have made that fact clear with his gun – but he would have understood.

Only… it hadn’t been a stranger. It hadn’t been someone who thought blond hair and violet eyes hid a warm heart and a sweet disposition. It had been someone who knew they didn’t.

Which was where the question came in.

Even at Kin’zan, he’d had a snarky attitude and sharp words, with the intelligence to back them up. His eyes and Master Koumyou’s attention to him weren’t the only reasons the priests of Kin’zan disliked him – just the first. Other than that….

Jikaku had liked him. But Jikaku had had an attitude to match his own, even if he didn’t show it except to night-wandering brats. Probably why the Sanbutsushin had figured he could get through, when no one else had. And Sanzo had to admit they’d been right about that.

None of which really dealt with the question.

He’d spent most of his life cultivating that attitude. Pushing people away before they could get close. As far as he’d been aware, the only time that had failed was with Goku – and that was because the monkey had a bad case of hero-worship that nothing Sanzo had done had been able to get rid of. Not to mention the Sanbutsushin had stuck him as the idiot’s guardian, so he couldn’t push as hard as he’d have liked to.

Certainly it had worked perfectly well with everyone else, from the priests in the Temple of the Setting Sun right down to that idiot kappa.

And now this.

Why the fuck did he do that?

The easy answer would be that fucking masochistic streak. Masochism that Sanzo strongly suspected hadn’t come on him in the change from Cho Gonou to Cho Hakkai, but that he’d had all of both lives. Why else choose his goddamn sister to fixate on?

But that would be the easy answer, and nothing with Hakkai was ever easy.

So… why?

It made no sense. He’d worked damn hard to make sure that neither Hakkai nor Gojyo liked him. The stupid kappa had been easy enough, and a great deal less important. He hadn’t fucking saved Gojyo.

Hakkai… was another matter. He had saved the idiot’s life, made him want to live again. Shouldn’t have chanted that goddamned sutra for him…. Spoken up for him in front of the Sanbutsushin. Been made responsible for Hakkai, just as he was for Goku. And the last thing he needed was another hero-worshipping idiot.

So he’d dumped all the dirty, time-consuming jobs he wasn’t interested in dealing with on him. Ordered him around, snapped at him….

Huh. Maybe it is his masochistic streak after all.

He took another drag of the cigarette.

No, still too easy. He’d try to aggravate me the same way those two other idiots do if it was. I spend a hell of a lot more time getting angry at and beating up on them than I do snapping at him.

All of which brought back around to that damn question again.

Blowing smoke out at the ceiling, he sighed. Quietly. They had individual rooms this time, but he couldn’t rely on the others to leave him alone if they heard him. Not now.

Not that Goku or Gojyo knew what had happened. At least, they’d better not know. He’d have no hesitations in ensuring that there would be three dead idiots if they did. But if Goku heard him… the monkey couldn’t keep his damn mouth shut.

Another drag of the cigarette; another column of smoke blown at the ceiling.

I’m not his goddamn fucking sister.

So why the bloody fucking hell did he kiss me?

Part 2

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